Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My penis needs a shock collar
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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