I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
