Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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