Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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