well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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