I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
