called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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