Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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