So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
