I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
