Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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