it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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