He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
