I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
