Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
