Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
