His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
This couple is walking their pig around campus
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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