i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
