Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
