I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize