This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
