physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
