Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize