I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
