dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
