My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
