I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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