wat bout pragnant strippers??
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
