But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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