glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
