try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
