I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
