Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
