i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
