hotel room ftw
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
