I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
