Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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