Can i not drive my cunt home
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
