Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
