so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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