You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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