Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
