I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
