i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
