similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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