shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
