she woke up with a sticky ear
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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