he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
