awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
even my farts smell like vagina
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
