just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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