Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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