she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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