Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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