Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
