I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Someone shattered a urinal.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
