If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You were trust falling into bushes
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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