Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
