I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Alive.
So much puke
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
