Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize