nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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