we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize