in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
