You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
