What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
