Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
