Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
