I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We are all done wearing pants today
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
