I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
