Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
