He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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